Episode 210 - The SRC Day 2 - Get Some Oxygen!

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Think about your young marriage like a preemie. Why do we put these tiny babies into incubators? We want to protect them from germs and we want to make sure they get high-quality oxygen.

Your new marriage needs the same.

It needs protection from germs. While most people immediately jump to boundaries and in-laws, the primary issue I've been seeing is BUSYNESS. Being too distracted or busy or stressed to give your marriage the attention it deserves is a germ. (Once your marriage is a nice strong, healthy kid--which doesn't mean you've been married a long time, it means you've actually DONE THE WORK--you'll be able to weather busy seasons without catching those germs.) But yes, unhealthy relationships or enmeshed relationships can also be germs. If you're turning to your girlfriends for emotional support and NEVER turning to your husband, make sure those girlfriend relationships are healthy and appropriate for this stage of life. If your mother wants to hear every detail about how you're adjusting to being a wife, it's time to get some incubator protection (this is NOT a ticket to cut your family members out of your life--just to be more conscientious about where the those conversations are going).

What's the oxygen? The oxygen is paint night. The oxygen is figuring out his favorite dinner and actually making it. The oxygen is learning his Myers Briggs, Enneagram, DISC type, soul type, and love language (or just one of those unless you're a geek on this stuff like me!) so you can learn how to work with his nature and think outside the box of how you've always thought things should be done. Oxygen is a love note written with whiteboard marker on the bathroom mirror, a hot coffee delivery to the bedroom, or simply being present to give him a smile and your attention at the end of the day.

In Class 2 of ⁠the First Year Married course⁠, I teach you how to design a shana rishona that is nourishing to your marriage AND to you.

Start today with some oxygen.

Transcript